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"To us, sex is a physical act, but kissing is an intimate act," Eric explains. The experience was exhilarating, but not their scene.
"That's why it's always off the table." In other words: rules? Things didn't get started until after midnight — tough for a couple that goes to bed well before After a few failed nights at sex clubs, Janet and Eric were relieved to find Club Relate, a private swingers group owned by a husband-and-wife team, Tom and Lynda Gayle.
They're willing to let me share everything except their real names and address, in order to protect their identities.
On paper, Janet and Eric are more Main Street than Wisteria Lane. Janet has a master's degree, and Eric enlisted right after high school.
"I think that's why it's important to try something new together, whatever it is." Janet and Eric started swinging to get over a rough patch in their relationship, they tell me. "But I wasn't ready to say, 'I'll pretend to be okay with this'.
A few years ago, Janet's libido took a nosedive, something she blames on the Pill but could have been due to stress, age, or just growing complacent in her marriage. What's the point of being married and not enjoying sex together?
"Janet and I are married, we are best friends, and we do everything as a couple, including this," says Eric. "I couldn't control that my sex drive had plummeted, and when you've been with the same person a while, sex can start to feel same-old, same-old." Eric became concerned; his past marriage had ended after he and his wife stopped being intimate and both had affairs.
"I see a lot of my friends' marriages end because they get stuck in a rut," Janet explains. "I remembered how bad cheating had made me and my ex feel, and I'd never do it again," says Eric.
"He says he it, but that doesn't do me much good." Eventually, though, they burnt out on Adult Friend Finder. She and Eric hammered out ground rules: no kissing other people, no doing anything without checking with the other person first, and always staying together.We joked that I should answer the door in a long hippie dress," says Janet Williams*, who's wearing jeans and a T-shirt as I step into the living room of her suburban Orlando home. " says her husband, Eric, who looks like he's dressed for a round of golf in a polo shirt and shorts.They're low-key and welcoming, even though I'm here to grill them about what they do naked: specifically, getting intimate with other couples at swingers parties.But how does a committed couple make this lifestyle work? Janet and Eric have agreed to answer every question I ask on this August afternoon before they head out to a swingers gathering, and even okay my request to ride along with them to the party.I'm also welcome to interview them the day after, when their defenses will be lowest.
The tenderness between them makes what I know about their sex life even more baffling.